Category Archives for "presence"

My darkest moments are a sign

I don’t see it in that instant but when the dust settles it’s clear. They embody the tension between where I am and where I truly desire to be. Times of wild thinking. Giving it all up. Hating life as it is. Desperation. These painful thoughts, these moments of madness…Love letters from the soul, a […]

The pursuit of happiness changes

From the chase of things on the outside- wealth, standing, holidays, gadgets, high end bikes, watches, elite golf clubs…To deepening on the inside. There’s a turning point where doing and accumulating lose their shine. Call it a crisis of meaning. Restlessness. Irritability. Sadness masquerading as numbness are all present. A feeling of loneliness, however well […]

It catches you unawares

Watching your child running their socks off across the football pitch.Seeing your wife leave the house to visit friends, and reconnecting with the familiar and even nostalgic love.Closing your laptop, late in the evening, after a grinding day.A gnawing, unsettling feeling. Hard to name, but familiar all the same.I’ve had it when I’m least expecting […]

Loneliness

Not the loneliness of not connecting with friends and colleagues, or being distant from your partner and kids.  Though those can be a cause too.No. The loneliness of no-one else knowing how you really feel about your life.Particularly if you are an independent soul. Used to solving it all and conquering by yourself.There was a […]

What if your hardest emotions were actually clearing the way for freedom?

When you get hit by a major disappointment, it can feel like the world stops turning. Your body keeps going through the motions, but inside, you’re stuck.Maybe you replay the moment endlessly. The words. The what-ifs. The why-me. It’s as if your mind builds a cage from the thoughts that wanted release.I know that place. It’s heavy. […]

There’s a particular kind of discomfort that doesn’t leave you alone

The kind that sits in your chest, twisting a little tighter every time you push it down.For me, it often comes when my inner voice whispers one thing, but the voices around me shout another.Maybe you know that feeling?Recently, we moved back to the South East. On paper, it seemed like the right step. But […]

The cost of ignoring your inner voice isn’t immediate

But it brings a particular kind of discomfort that doesn’t leave you alone. The kind that sits in your chest, twisting a little tighter every time you push it down.For me, it often comes when my inner voice whispers one thing, but the voices around me shout another.Maybe you know that feeling?Recently, we moved back to […]

Stepping into unfamiliar waters

This past weekend I took my son to try out three new watersports: paddle boarding, windsurfing, and sailing.He was excited… and also deeply resistant. The kind of resistance where you half-hope the session gets cancelled because the weather turns. Or that ‘tummy ache’ is real.Each time we approached something unfamiliar, his body almost said no […]

What if confidence was never the signal you thought it was?

Read this slowly…We labour under the illusion that confidence is the thing that moves life forward. That it predicts outcomes.Or that it needs rebuilding every time we face something new.But confidence isn’t a resource.It’s the absence of insecure thinking.When the mind quietens, confidence simply reappears.When we’re in flow, we don’t even ask the question.We just […]

Borrowed time…

Boris Becker won Wimbledon at 17. My age at the time.A teenager with incredible focus, athleticism, and a presence that made the world stop and jaws drop ( or at least mine!)And then I heard him recently on the High Performance Podcast. Speaking about bankruptcy. Prison. A very public unravelling of a life that once seemed […]