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The hidden cost of always being responsible
Responsible for 25 years. But postponing your aliveness. Most senior leaders I speak with are extraordinary at doing what needs to be done. They’re sorted on the deliverables, the obligations, the expectations of others. They know how to execute. They show up. They hold the line when they need.But what is often absent in all […]
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Who are you when nobody’s watching?
The gap between your LinkedIn bio and your Sunday evening is worth studying. One tells the story of impact, influence and momentum in your life. The other tells you something quieter and more subtle. It says something about who you actually are when the performance stops.Many senior leaders I meet are extraordinary at the public […]
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The breakthrough you didn’t see coming
For months. Sometimes years.It feels like swimming against the tide of what you actually want.The effort is real. The resistance is real. And the gap between where you are and where you sense you should be feels like it’s getting wider, not narrower.Then something shifts.It’s rarely a single moment. More often it’s a change in […]
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Why success leaves leaders feeling empty
He’d built everything. The title. The respect. The financial security. And he still felt hollow.We sat down a few months ago, and he said “I’ve spent years getting here. But why can’t I stand it anymore?”It’s a question I hear more than you’d think. From successful leaders, years into successful careers, feeling like something essential […]
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To the man who keeps telling himself he should be grateful
You probably are.That is the part many people misunderstand.You are grateful for the career. And the income.You are definitely grateful for the family, the house, the choices, the security, and the chances life has given you.You know you’ve done well. That many people would trade places with you.You might be thinking that your problems are […]
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Most successful men don’t fail in the second half of life
They keep going.And that is the problem.Your diary stays full. Your reputation stays intact. Your income keeps arriving. People still come to you for answers.From the outside, nothing looks broken.But you know the private version.You wake at 3am and your mind starts running.Work. Money. Retirement. The children leaving home. The future. The question you have avoided because it feels inconvenient.“Is this still actually […]
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The hidden cost of being the capable one
I think there is a particular type of burden that comes with being the man everyone relies on.You become good at handling things. You’re the one people turn to when the hard thing needs to be done, whether it’s the difficult conversation or the financial decision. Maybe it’s a team issue. Or a family responsibility. Or […]
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I reckon the most dangerous phrase you can say in life is ‘I should be happier than I am.’
Sure, it sounds small. The kind of thing you want to say quietly. Something you might not even dare say to your wife on a Sunday evening even though she senses it already. But what is that question actually saying.It’s saying: probably by every measure that matters, my life is working. The income. The title. […]
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I gave up 16 weekends in two years and never once resented a single one of them
For many years, my attitude to performance was ‘head down, push on through.’It got results, of a kind.But there was a version of it that felt like dragging myself through concrete. Late nights or weekend on work that after a while I felt nothing about, ticking boxes rather than coming alive in any of it.Then […]
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Want to know if you’re living your values?
I suggest you don’t bother checking your intentions. Check your calendar instead.Because your calendar doesn’t tell you who you want to be. It tells you who you actually are being. In my experience, that distinction is really worth sitting with.If you can spend a bit of time reflecting on this distinction, there are three things […]
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