Are you caught in the trap of ‘I’ll be happy when’? |

Are you caught in the trap of ‘I’ll be happy when’?

This comes up so often in my discussions with clients.

The idea that there is a golden goal, the achievement of which will bring a deeper peace, an end to striving or relentless drive.

If you’re like me, when I’ve had those sorts of goals and achieved them (say buying a house, getting a promotion or payrise, creating a new relationship or some other kind of result), I’ve surfed the high for a while.

However, it’s always transitory… that feeling has a short shelf life and once it’s gone…

Restlessness returns, a longing for the next thing. There can be a great coming down.

That’s why much of my work, away from dealing with the practicals of creating better relationships, getting over obstacles and reaching goals, is focused on inner work.

I call this work, returning home.

Returning home is a process of remembering that state of being from which peace and stillness emanate.

If this sounds abstract or confusing, think about a time when you’ve been completely at ease. It might be in connected conversation or presence with someone, or in nature, listening to music, being creative…

The mind is quiet, at least for a little while. 

If you pay attention to your state, you will notice peace, stillness, a lack of striving or a need for a destination.

That feeling of coming home to yourself is like the stillest of deep pools. Refreshing, reassuring, reconnecting. Pure presence.

Now here’s the interesting thing. 

The more we connect with that state, the more space we create for our innate creativity to emerge. 

To be in pursuit of goals for the creative joy, but without the attachment to the idea that achieving them is what brings the joy or peace.

In this sense, it’s all about the journey and not the destination.

When we have such little time on this earth, why would we spend it in the joyless pursuit of goals and the illusion they will create happiness, when there is a different, more enjoyable option on offer?

Photo by michael podger on Unsplash