Over the years, I’ve pushed hard towards my goals. There were times when I was all in, full of enthusiasm and energy. There were other times when it all became a drag and I had to effort hard. I think that’s pretty common, when you’re focused on creating an outcome.
There was another characteristic to this drive which I began to notice. One which really had me in the grip.
For most of my life, I realised that my drive towards my goals was driven by fear.
Fear that I wouldn’t succeed.
Feat that I might be found out.
Fear that I wasn’t good enough.
Feat that I’d fail financially.
Fear that I wouldn’t look good in the eyes of friends and family.
Fear that I would do less well than my peers.
As I’ve had 100s of conversations with leaders over the years, I realise that so many people have their own flavour of being driven by fear.
At one level, there’s nothing wrong with that. It provides focus, a tension that keeps you in check. A gentle or not so gentle prod that pushes you on and on.
I came to see, though, that living and working from a place of fear, is really draining. It’s like operating with your engine continually revved up.
It’s as if your body is permanently in a state of vigilance for threat. The tension is palpable.
You might feel it in your jaw, or neck or shoulders or back.
You might experience it in shallow breathing. Or sense of wide-eyed alertness.
It was a few years ago that I started to see that it was possible to create everything I want from a place of peace.
Not that I never experience fear or insecurity, but those are not the overriding emotions of my experience.
The feeling of peace shows up as:
- Feeling in the flow
- Having a gratitude for what I have and experience
- Slowing down to get more done
- Feeling inspired and acting on inspiration
- Being open to the benign direction of life
- Seeing the growth opportunities in challenge
- Living in the absence of tension
- Open heartedness and connection with myself others
I think there is a myth, that you need to white knuckle life to be really successful (in terms of external goals.)
What if there is an alternative way, where you lean into a relaxed state of mind, into a sense of wellbeing and inspiration as your guiding light?
This is the work I do with my clients. To help them create a life they love at work and beyond, all from a place of deeper peace.
It’s based on two very simple foundations:
- Knowing that all our experience is created from within (and it’s never circumstances that make up our experience). Seeing this provides a rock solid foundation for dealing with ups and downs.
- Knowing the truth of who we are. That there is a deeper place within us that is 100% in wellbeing 100% of the time, whatever is happening on the outside.
From this place of knowing, we access a deeper peace of mind. We’re connected to profound insights and realisations that help move us with the tide of our lives from a place of harmony.
We drop the idea that we’ll be happy when goals are accomplished, and settle into the knowing that we are ok right now.
There is no place for fear in this outlook, because it’s a reflection of our deepest nature: peace, wellbeing, optimism, gratitude.
Who wouldn’t want to live more from that place?
Photo by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash