I was in the beautiful city of Vancouver when it dawned on me.
It was a beautiful autumn day. I was on the campus of the University of British Columbia.
In the cold clear light of day, I saw something new.
My breath slowed. I felt the freshening October air on my face.
An energy surge through my chest, filling it with a feeling of excitement.
Possibility.
Hope.
I didn’t want to be an entrepreneur anymore.
I wanted to help people at a deeper level.
One on one.
From that insight, the seed was planted for me first to train as a psychotherapist and then as a coach.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love my business or the amazing things that were created from that experience.
It was just that there was a more resonant longing.
In the peace and distance, nearly 5000 miles from home, I had one of those life changing moments of clarity.
It was exhilarating and scary in equal measure.
The knowing of wanting something more.
The fear of voicing it.
I took a taster course in London and loved every minute.
I embarked on a foundation course.
But still I talked it down, as if it were a hobby or rabbit hole, far removed from the cut and thrust of running a business with my partners.
On the first day of the course, on the board there were two things written large:
This is not the truth
And from Anais Nin
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
When I was reminding myself of the quote for this piece, I read on for the next part:
“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
Living never wore one out so much as the effort not to live.”
The part about not being the truth has stood me in good stead.
It invites you to discern what is true for yourself, not take things as read, when spouted by others, particularly in positions of authority.
It is the basis of personal sovereignty.
The Nin quote spoke to my heart.
Of my longing to live a different season in my life.
To find the words and expression for that.
Once the plant was seeded, it needed nurturing.
As the shoots came into daylight it couldn’t be hidden.
When I told my business partners about my desire to train as a therapist, they were nothing but supportive.
Helping me with the time and investment for parts of the training.
They saw perhaps what I didn’t.
A happy, fulfilled me would give so much more back into the business.
That I had a plan for life after the business was inspiring too.
I knew my destiny.
I thought I did.
Reality took many different turns but this particular ship had begun to sail and I was firmly onboard.
Owning the longing.
Speaking it into the world.
Seeing it unfold.
Whether you’re a leader in a business or a parent or any other context where you have others’ ears.
Or for that matter when talking to yourself…
Listen to people’s dreams.
Take them as sacred and valuable.
Encourage them to nurture and support them.
Do what you can to help too.
Because the effort of not living your fullest life is exhausting.
A missing out on the joy ride.
A turning away from life.
Photo by Adam Bixby on Unsplash