This doesn’t get talked about much.
It’s called ‘The Crash’
You must have heard of (or maybe known) someone who seemed to be leading a shiny life.
By shiny, I mean: got it all sorted; successful; great social life; nice marriage and kids. One of those people who seem to find life easy.
Then one day, it all goes to shit.
Their business has gone bust. Or they’ve had an affair. Or their wife has.
Or, in the worst case, they’ve ended it all. And you had no idea they were struggling.
In spite of all the mental health talk, it’s so hard for men to admit they’re on the edge.
Is this worse for entrepreneur or consultant dads? I don’t have the data. Intuitively though, I see there’s a double pressure:
- Making a success of your business
- Making a success of being a dad
It’s hard to admit it’s not all a bed of roses. When I co-founded my first business, it was so intense. Like nothing I’d ever experienced, and I wasn’t shy of hard work.
When the cracks started to appear, I found it impossible to say to anyone. I don’t think I even saw it myself.
I always excelled at what I put my mind to. It didn’t enter my mind that I could be anything but invincible in life.
Until I wasn’t. One day, I couldn’t get out of bed anymore.
I was overwhelmed and felt trapped. Couldn’t go on.
I was deeply ashamed. Of letting my business partners and girlfriend down. We’d all put a lot on the line to make this happen.
I didn’t want to be the one who fucked it all up.
So I kept quiet. More than that. I didn’t see it coming, until it hit me like a train.
Now you might think ‘that’ll never happen to me. I’m not soft like you, Matt’. And hopefully you’re right.
But one common thing about ‘The Crash’ is that it sneaks up on you when you least expect it
Why do men find it so hard to share this stuff?
All that stiff upper lip bollocks?
Lack of practice?
Scared of looking bad?
I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that no-one deserves a train wreck in their life.
Looking back, there were so many warning signs.
But when I fell over, I was shown nothing but kindness.
We all instinctively know, ‘there but for the grace of God go I.’
When I fell over, I was shown nothing but kindness.
And a few folks gave me some tools that not only helped me get back on my feet, but showed me how to thrive again.
I added in some of my own trial-and-error insights along the way, and realised that unwittingly…
…I’d come up with a system to help entrepreneur dads.
A system to not only help them avoid ‘The Crash’, but thrive in both their home life AND their business life.
That’s why I do what I do today. Because nobody needs to go through what I went through.
Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash